Humanity Isn't What It Seems Like
by itsmorethanfine
Summary: Castiel finally meets Dean after putting Metatron away in Heaven's jail. But for some reason, the meeting doesn't exactly go how he'd expected it to go.


"Dean?" Cas' voice shook and he took a deep breath to calm himself. Human emotions had been a new, yet unfortunate addition to his angelic nature. Sometimes, he loved the way his heart gave a flutter around Dean, the way it jumped whenever Dean said his name.

But, he absolutely detested the way it was trembling, practically shaking with terror as Dean sat in front of him, his once beautiful green eyes now a solid and empty black. His beautiful face was now clouded with the dead and decaying lines of a demon's true soul.

Yeah, Cas was more powerful than Dean was as a demon because he was an angel, but he could never bring himself to hurt him.

Dean cocked his head and laughed. "Castiel. Wow, wow, wow," he said, slowly, relishing the horror on the angel's face.

Cas stood frozen. That was not Dean talking to him. And he couldn't ignore the sudden twist in his heart as Dean spoke again.

"Didn't think your emotions were _that_ plain to see." He got off the desk he was sitting on, and sauntered over to Cas, a few feet away from him.

When Cas had seen Dean for the first time after Metatron had lied to him about his death, he'd just wanted to bury himself in Dean, inhaling that spicy smell, a combination of motels, the Impala and just a hint of Dean Winchester. But, the negative energy radiating off Cas' new found love was shattering.

"Right, Cas?" Dean smirked. "I can see it so plainly on your face." He paused and grinned, black eyes slowly returning to green, devoid of any emotion. "I _love_ this whole mind-reading thing."

"See what?"

"You know," Dean said, completely ignoring Cas' question, "I'd always had that little nagging feeling in the back of my head. And it's just adorable that you've confirmed my suspicions."

"What are you talking about?"

Dean leaned over, so close, his mouth was almost touching Cas' ear. And then he whispered something that made Cas' figurative human heart stop.

"You like me, don't you, Cas? It's like Metatron was talking about. This "story" is about love. And it's not your love for humanity. It's your love for _me_."

Cas' breath caught. He had known it was forbidden to fall in love with a human of all creatures on Earth. Why would an angel even experience _love_?

Dean threw his head back and laughed. "Your expression is just priceless." And then suddenly, he was blushing. _Dean Winchester _was blushing.

"I can't say I feel any different than you do, Cas."

Cas was thoroughly confused and he squinted.

Dean took a deep breath and his green eyes seemed human again. "Thing is, Cas, I hate myself like this. Do you know how I'd seen the future? After all this crap was done?"

"How?" Cas' voice was barely a whisper.

"With you."

And then Cas felt like he was going to pass out from all the emotions flooding his body. C_alm down. He's a demon, he's just lying. There's no way that Dean would ever fall in love with you._

But, he couldn't stop himself from how much he wanted Dean, wanted him to love him back, wanted him to kiss him back, love him with every fiber of his being.

"Really?"

Dean smiled, reached for Cas' face and touched his cheek, lightly. Cas closed his eyes and leaned into his touch. He would give anything for this to happen. Everything he'd done, everything he'd sacrificed himself for, it had all been for Dean.

Metatron had been the only one, other than a suspecting Sam, that had actually realized how much Dean had meant to him.

When Cas opened his eyes, he couldn't even form thoughts. All he was aware of was Dean's face a few inches away from his, full lips, bright green eyes. But, the only thing that was freaking him out slightly was the decaying of Dean's demon face. But, the longer he looked, the faster the lines on his face seemed to fade away and the more he looked like Dean again.

"Cas," Dean breathed.

He watched the brightness slowly return to Dean's eyes and within a few seconds, Dean looked like Dean again. "Dean," he breathed.

Dean smiled, the crinkles forming by his eyes. Cas just wanted to run his fingers over them. But, he didn't.

They stood there for a while, their foreheads pressed together. And then suddenly, they were kissing. It was soft at first, but Cas got the feeling that Dean was getting slightly impatient. Dean pushed himself against Cas, all sense of personal space neglected. They were all hands, all skin, kissing each other furiously. Dean's hands combed through Cas' hair, and he let out a slight groan at the feeling.

He'd imagined what it would be like to kiss Dean, but he had no idea how _alive_ it would actually be.

They broke apart; Cas' mouth was slightly open. "Dean," was all he could muster.

"I know. I like to think I'm a pretty good kisser," Dean said and winked. But, then he started laughing, a maniacal sort of laugh.

"Dean?" Cas asked, feeling a sort of emptiness as Dean let his hand drop and stepped away from him.

"Oh, Cas. If only there was someone out there that loved you," Dean said, his voice dangerously low, his mouth curled in a malicious smile. And then his eyes turned black.

"What is going on, Dean?" Cas was completely confused. He couldn't see Dean's face. He blinked, but Dean's face was still his.

Suddenly, Cas felt a rush through his body. Air rushed through his nose and mouth, filling up his chest and everything blurred for a little before coming back to focus. His chest started to thud, a slow beating of his existing heart. But, then pain shot through every part of his body and he doubled over and fell to the ground, his hands stopping him from falling on his face.

"Dean," he rasped, looking up. Dean grinned, his eyes still an empty black.

"Cas. Cas. Cas. You _were_ always very trusting." He stepped away so that Cas could see him a little clearer.

"You really don't think I like you, do you, Cas?"

Cas could barely breathe. What was Dean talking about?

"You look too sad. Cheer up. You'll find someone else that probably will love you as much as you love me."

"What is happening to me?"

Dean cocked his head. "Do you really not remember the last time you lost your grace, Castiel? That is exactly what's happening to you right now."

And then suddenly, Cas' breath left him. His chest tightened with the pain that he was experiencing.

"Your grace is gone, Cas. You're human. And alone." He paused before he added. "Again."

"Dean, this isn't you," he choked. "This is the demon in you talking-"

"Oh, stop being such a drama queen, Cas. There is no demon _in_ me. I am a demon. It's what the Mark made me. And I really don't have any regrets," he said, flexing his fingers, as he looked at them. "I am a strong vessel, I can bear the burden."

"Dean, please."

And then, Dean was grabbing Cas by the collar, pulling his face close to his. "Dean, what? Huh? What? Don't be stupid, Cas. There was never anything here. Ever. You hear me?"

Cas' eyes filled with tears. "Dean-"

But, before he could finish, Dean punched him square in the face; Cas could feel the blood trickling out his nose, as the pain spread throughout his face. He fell to the ground, hard on his back. Before, he could move, Dean was on him in an instant.

"Stop holding onto such petty emotions, Castiel. You mean nothing to me, you hear? _Nothing_." Another blow hit Cas on the side of his head. His heart gave another painful twist, as Dean's words cut like a knife. They hurt more than Dean punching him.

He buckled under the force and fell. But, Dean wasn't going to give up on him that easily. The punches came one after the other, each one hurting more than the last. After a painful eternity, Dean stopped. Cas could feel the blood all over his face. Dean pulled Cas up by the collar again, his green eyes blazing with anger.

"This is for what you did to me when you were being controlled by that bitch, Naomi. I've been waiting my entire life for this. Now, I don't have to depend on you anymore. I don't need to act like I _care_ about you anymore. I'm finally _free._" Dean let go of Cas, and he crumpled to the ground, barely registering any of what was going on.

Everything slowly turned black. The last thing Cas saw was Dean walking out of the bunker, long bowlegs leading him away from Cas.


End file.
